Whaddup ?!



I am very very sorry guys for not updating this blog for the past two days. I have been very busy rehearsing for End Of Year Ceremony. It really is worth it rehearsing but it all turns bad when i got struck down by a terrible headache. And it is still very painful when i am typing this . Stupid headache causing me not to get my report book back . Argh ! FRUSTRATION! Well , i know i got to relax. What the _____ ?! This is the most painful headache i have ever had ! I felt like screaming one moment . I know i must control myself . But how when a really really painful headache struck you just like that ?! Its okay . I will carry on telling the events that happened on Wednesday , Thursday and not today cos i already did .


On Wednesday , inter-class games . Basket ball is the first event . Of course i was the first to volunteer ! Well , first game is the worst first game i ever have . My classmates set a very high expectation of the game results for this former basketball player ! What the ____ ?If that is waht they want , then it will be what i will be giving , I thought . And sure it is ! Despite the instant injuries i obtained during the first half of the game , I do manage to score one . At least . Although we played for eight long minutes , in the end , the game is tied . 2-2 . One score for each class . There is supposed to be a captain's ball game after recess . Since its raining , we  stayed in class.


On Thursday, class bonding which is so boring. I had such a bad mood on that day that i throw tantrums almost everywhere ! Well , nothing happened much actually . I got to go people . Chiao !




Signing off,
Hiroteka Hayashi

Whaddup ?!



Hey people ! Today , i got my fringe straightened and i must admit , i do look a little like Nurul after straightening it . But , whatever ! Somebody asked me am i some teacher's pet (so sorry , but i wont regret not writing down the teacher's name)? Well , personally , i really want to be a teacher's pet because you got to know your teacher better and really , if you have a problem , no one to talk to , your teacher will be the best person to be with you and even be your best friend ! Being a teacher's pet doesn't mean that you are some kind of a nerd . Its just that you are much more compatible with your teacher .And that itself can make you more mature . This certain teacher have helped me in both my academic and non-academic topics . This teacher really have made me a better person that i am now . Still , i prefer to be a loner . But , what is wrong with stepping out from the dark corner ? I need some light in my life too . I have always wanted to be the shining star in the dark sky . I have always wanted to be different . I am a few steps away from forever . That means , it is never to late to keep changing who you are . Just change if you think you have to . And that is what i did . I changed . To be me . For the sake of me , i changed , being to explore this world and myself . ' Life is foryou to explore yourself and find who you really are .' That is a quote somebody passed to me . That is the inspiration for me to keep on moving . Look at me . I am already begining to shine ....


Signing off,
Hirotake Hayashi

Whaddup ?!



Hey people . I am so sorry for not updating my blog last week . I was out of Singapore . So , please understand . Nothing happened much last week so , i am not gonna jot it down here . Is that ok ? Because i just dont want people to know about the family matters that happened . Please understand me people . If so , i will want to talk about it , not type on the keyboard of this laptop . Understood ? Yes , i know sometimes i am a little sensitive and if possible i want to keep everything to myself . Its not that i am arrogant . I am just too silent about my privacy ok ? So , lets talk about what happened today .

Today is one of the most boring day ever . Come to school , get ready to WALK all the way to Bukit Batok Nature Reserve . We walked longer than we spend the time there ! We walked almost 4 hours [ back and forth journey ] and spent only 30 mins on that stupid game ! What the ______ ? Its making me so frustrated because i not only did not eat breakfast , even dinner i have an empty stomach ! I almost vomited after i drank a cold drink ! So take this advice people , never ever skip your meals ! Eventhough no one cooked for you , buy something or search for it ! Never set me as the reason why you skipped meals ok ? If you do , dont tell me where you stay . If not , i will come searching for you !

Signing off,

Hirotake Hayashi

Whaddup ?!



Today, art paper . What the heck ? The paper is 2 hours long and me , jasper and gao zhen finished it in less than 45 minutes ! So easy . Just draw , colour and wait for the next  1 hour and 15 minutes . Really , for the rest of the time i felt like some idiot just sitting there and doing nothing . I really should have add more details but , what more can i think of ? Plus , the teacher . Aw man . She really piss me off . I dont know why but she is damn irritating . She keeps walking around the class . Thats nothing but the thing is , she keep smiling to herself . She really give me the creeps . Everytime i saw that happening , i felt goosebumps . That was so creepy ok ? Yesterday , i lose quite a lot of that frustration i have these days . But , when i am forced to go to my neighbour's house yesterday , they make the frustration come back nd this time , the flame of anger is much more stronger . Whatever gets in my way ,  it will have the worst pounding from me . They really piss me off ! Shouting all night . As if they are deaf or something ? The whole family is shouting . The last time i heard them talk is when i am in my Primary 2 school days . Imagine how long that is ?! That is irritating enough to make me scream and slap their faces ok ? I cant just scold them smack in the face . But i have got to be patient too . I can do nothing . All i can do now is just bottle up my feelings and let myself take care of it . I really have to chill . Ice anybody ?




Signing off,
Hirotake Hayashi

Whaddup ?!



Tomorrow is Art paper and everybody is preparing for it like hell . Its kind of funny when i think back about the previous papers . My friends have been revising so hard - good girls and boys what - but the papers appeared to be sooo easy . Well, i am not quite confident about it . But i can bet my results wont turn out good because i never study .Awww , what a good girl i am . Not ! The papers are so damn easy man but for me it seems easy but i am not confident about the results . Everybody is like so scared of the examination . Please ! Examinations are just papers with black printings on it ! Why should you be scared ? As if that paper is going to kill you or something ?That paper does not have hands ok ? Papers are just papers . Thats it. Its not that i want to discourage people from studying but think about it . Why be scared because of some stack of papers with printings on it ? You end up looking dumb because you are scared of those papers. Please dont be such a cartoon . This is reality ok . You got to face what life is giving ok ?
 Just face it . Enough . And by the way , the frustration . It has been growing for the past few days . I will be busy now and then . I will not update my blog for a certain period of time throughout the upcoming holidays .



Signing off,
Hirotake Hayashi

Whaddup ?!



Haha . Today so funny . Well , to me . I still feel that frustration  i have yesterday . But , i think i have changed a little . After school , i went to hospital in jb to visit my great-grandmother who is in a critical condition . Well , i cried of course . But when going home , at the arrival platform in Singapore , i got held back . So , the police did a BS on me which stands for body search  as i wear my belt with a big metal buckle on it and my watch . What the f ? The police officer stare at me like hell . She thought i would be scared but when she saw no reaction in my face , she became paisey . When i walk off , iheard ," Macam samseng ." Which means , " Like gangster ." So what ? She think i scared ?  That will be a definite no-no ok ? Even my shoe they want to check . I took off my shoe and my socks - which is very optional just to prove them i got nothing . They seemed so blur when i walked off without feeling scared . Their faces makes me laugh sia . So sacarstic . Got to go now . Chiao peeps !





Signing off ,
 Hirotake Hayashi

Whaddup ?!



Today is like so damn boring ! Go to school , come back from school and then do nothing . Lucky got computer . Just go youtube , listen to music while updating blog . Today i felt different . I felt so frustrated but i dont know why . All the things i did wrongly will sure irritate me . Even when i am typing this i made so many errors . I dont seem to think straight . I cant even talk properly . Listening to music also i turn on full blast and it didnt seem to make this frustration go away as usual . But instead , it made me feel much more frustrated and more hyper maybe ? I dont know . I dont know what to do . I dont even know why am i behaving like this ! I need to cool down . I keep reminding myself that but whatever i do seemed to make me more frustrated ! I swear i have never feel some thing like this before . This is my very first time . Why am i like becoming so short tempered ? This is beginning to suck . Seriously , i felt like smashing this laptop of mine . I felt like smashing everything ! Now i know why favourite colour is black . Its a symbol of mystery . That suits perfectly . I dont even know my real identity . Is it maybe i like to bottle up my feelings all this while ? Is that making feel frustrated and angry all this while ?  I didnt even feel i am happy today . This is very very irritating . I got nothing more to say . Its just that i keep repeating this word , " FRUSTRATED !"
I got to remember , this life is only for now . Not later .



Signing off,
Hirotake Hayashi

Whaddup ?!



Today is like so ... I dont know .... irritating maybe ? This morning , i am just revising my maths . But so many disruption ! Oh my gosh , I feel like slapping everyone in front of me already ! SO ANGRY !!!  Ok fine. .  Finally starting of geogeraphy paper . I just scribbled down whatever to me is the answer . Whatever . Dont care . Not my problem .  But finally , i finished answering all questions . Still got time , but i dont want to check my paper . Aww , what a good girl ! I started scribbling on those papers and i remembered that my mother needs money and i will have to give her after school , when i am on the way to tuition . I think about it . I dont mind giving my money all away , but i felt sad because why am i so luxuriant living with my cousins here but my family is suffering over there ? Why am i like so different ? How i wish i can feel how are they over there .  So , since i have got another extra paper  i scribbled down my emotions. But some i drew it . But when i asked Mr Kamal to sign the class diary , he seems to notice i looked down . So he asked , " Are you sick or are you crying ?" I just said no . I am just sick .I think he heard me sob . Well , actually i dont actually wanted to be noticed i am crying so i just keep my mouth shut . Its my problem . Let me handle it on my own . I dont want to anyone to get involved . Understand me . Please .





Signing off,


Hirotake Hayashi

Whaddup ?!


Today, lets talk about money !Well , to me , money is like so irritating . I dont want money. But I need it . So complicated . Well , that is why if my family needs that money , i will just give it away . So what ? Peolpe ask me , " Dont you love that money ?! " I will just answer back , " Well , my family need it more than me . " They end up shaking their heads . What do you expect me to say ?



Some times people say i am resourceful . I will ask why and they say because i just give it away if people ask for it . I mean , " Hello ? You asked for it , of course i give you !" Money does not mean anything to me okay ? I use it to buy what i need and what i wanted okay ?!


So , is money that important ? Bear with life if you just wanna live.



Signing off ,

Hirotake Hayashi

Whaddup !

Its my first entry , so bear with me . I just wanna say , i am so fed up with my life sometimes !
Imagine you are thirteen and your grandparents still call you up in school during classes. Only that and it can piss me off . Seriously , i try to bear with my life . But its people who can't bear with me . Its because I dont understand myself . Maybe thats why people dont understand me . Maybe it does make sense . When you try to gain life skills , it just needs your life to be paid with because its a life skill ! I have tried to be patient but i cant . Its just so difficult for me . Well that is to me . When you try to achieve for something , you probably can but you got to put everything you have now on the line . Its a battlefield . In a battlefield , you risk your life to gain victory . That is life . You cant expect life to be luxuriant all th time .


I keep reminding myself to keep who I am inside to myself . Maybe thats why i bottle up my emotions . You cannot understand peole if you dont inderstand yourself . But you can understand how people feel . Imagine living in a house , all the things not belonging to you . But the things that belonged to you is only what you treasure most . But still , you got to give it away to the owner of the house if they asked for it . They dont care on whether you can still get it back or not . What they know is what they want , they get it . Its frustrating living a life like that .

Maybe thats all i wanna talk about today. Remember , tough times does not last long . Only tough people do . I am realising that i am starting to show who i am inside already . . .


Signing off
Arnisa
@
Hirotake Hayashi
@
Nazuma Himahara
Chiao peeps !