Whaddup??!!

Hey peeps. It's been a long time since I last updated this thing. So yeah. Here I am again. It's MYE fever now. Pheww. Can die already. But I don't want to talk about it anymore. Whatever comes, I'll just accept it.

Honestly speaking, I miss the times I'm being forced to be confronted, forced to be talking about things I don't like to talk about, forced to be listened throughout. Why? I felt so insecure this days. I just have so much to catch up. It's such a big jump. I sometimes felt so pressurized that one day, I broke down and cried. I really don't know what to do. I felt really insecure. I don't have anything to hold on to. I don't really have anyone to hold on tightly to. When people gives me random hugs, it just gave me that sense of longing and appreciated. And sometimes, that hug too gave me that motivation. To just live on. People may say that want to die earlier and that's what had been in my mind for a long time. But to think again of all the people who made you live your life, who existed in your life, who you actually cared about just pulls you back and continue till your final destination. My point here is, I just need some love and care. Right here, right now, no matter what it costs me, no matter how. With this. I end my entry for today.


Signing off,
Hayashi.